Forever
by lalalalalalalalalla
Summary: Ever wondered what life would be like if Bella chose Jacob after the trip to Italy. As Edward copes with losing the love of his life and Bella living happily ever after with Jacob, what will happen when an argument leads to their romance being rekindled x
1. Chapter 1: Goodbye

Forever Yours

FOREVER

Chapter 1: Goodbye 

EPOV

I made my way to the meadow as quickly as possible. I thought she would've stayed home all day after yesterday's flight, being tired and all, but Bella will be Bella and obviously jetlag doesn't bother her.

I couldn't work out what she wanted to talk to me about, or why she had to speak in our meadow. She had been rather quiet on the way home from Italy, but she didn't sleep either, she just lay in my arms and gazed in different directions entranced by her thoughts.

After landing, she didn't look at me at all; this made me quite worried and even more eager to be able to read her thoughts. When we arrived at her house she simply gave me a kiss on the cheek and then ran inside.

I had debated all night whether or not to go to her bedroom but I thought she probably needed her space. It surprised me when I got her phone call this morning and she told me to meet her in our meadow at noon.

I finally arrived at my destination and I felt my dead heart leap as I saw her sat on a rock a few yards away from me. My love. My angel. My Bella.

"Bella" I whispered, soft enough not to frighten her but loud enough for her to hear.

She slowly turned around as if anticipating something. "Edward I need to talk to you," she looked at me for a split second while I simply nodded and then she carried on "this is going to be hard. Ok well firstly I need you to answer a question for me." She paused for a moment "I need to know if what you said in September was true, I need to know do you still love me?"

This was what I thought would happen and for that matter I had already prepared an answer. "Bella, I love you more than you will ever know, I want you more than you will ever want me but I need you to be safe. That is why in September I told you what I told you. I thought that if you thought that I didn't want you anymore then you would be able to move on with your life and forget about me. If I had known that you would've been so unhappy, I would never have gone." I looked at her beautiful face and saw how much I had hurt her over the past year and I wanted to take the punishment that would come eventually.

"Edward, you hurt me so badly. Yesterday when we were on that plane I realised that when Alice came to me I had already healed. What I'm trying to say is that I can't let myself be in a position where I can have my heart broken." I suddenly understood what she was saying. She couldn't be with me anymore because she had already forgotten.

"Bella…please?" I begged as I saw my future without her flashed through my mind.

"No Edward, I can't, I've already let you go and my heart can't bear it if I have to do it twice." She looked like she was about to cry, but this meant that she was stronger than me for if my eyes could water, I would've cried an ocean.

"Is there someone else?" I just had to know how she could leave me when I thought her love for me was unquestionable. She froze for only a second, but it was still enough for me to know the truth. "I want you to be happy Bella, I want you to experience the things in life that I never can." I knew this was true but I still had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying _"I want you to be with me forever." _For I knew it was true. I knew that if she had said that the only way I could have her was if I changed her then I would have taken her soul then and there. But she wasn't saying that. She was saying that I couldn't have her full stop.

"I have to go." She said quietly, but still she stood perfectly still. "I'm so very sorry." She walked over to me and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek and then she whispered in my ear "Goodbye Edward." She turned around and started walking away.

"Bella…I'll always be there if you need me, I'll always be around." I just had to let her know that I would never leave her, no matter who she loved. She smiled and I stared hopelessly after her as the object of my desire slowly walked away.

I slumped to my knees and tearlessly and silently cried for my beloved to come back. I thought about what life would be like from now on and about what would've happened if I had never gone in the first place. I could still smell her beautiful freesia scent so I just sat there and inhaled. I don't know how long I was sat there for but I could see that it was starting to get dark.

"Edward?" I turned around to see my sister Alice standing at the edge of the meadow looking at me with sorrow and pity in her eyes. It was obvious that one of her visions had told her what had happened.

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry." She said as she sat next to me and pulled me into a hug. "I came as quickly as I could, the others don't know yet." She knew it was getting dark but it didn't really bother her.

"She's gone." It was all I could say. I listened to her thoughts as she sighed.

_Poor Edward. I don't know how he'll cope. I must speak with Bella, I'm sure this can't be right_.

"No Alice, you can't force her to be with me. She's made up her mind." I looked at her face then and could see that she also was tearlessly crying.

_But you two are soul mates everybody knows that, she can't have two soul mates. What was she thinking._

"I love Bella more than anything in the world and that is why I want her to be happy. If being with me means she can't be happy then she has made the right choice." I whispered, not knowing if what I was saying was true or if it was just a statement I wanted to be true.

_But I love her too. I want her to be happy as well but I don't see how that can happen without you in her life._

"I will still be in her life," Alice looked at me as if I was crazy "I will still see her at school and around town. I'll still watch over her and protect her if anything means to cause her pain."

_But I thought she said that she didn't want to be with you anymore. I was under impression that because of that, you would leave Forks. _

"I can't leave even if I wanted to. I am not strong enough to be away from her. I'm using all my power right now not to go and hunt down the man that she loves but no, I'm not strong enough to leave her completely."

We sat in silence for a while and just watched darkness take full control of the sky until I finally said "We should be getting home, Esme will be starting to get worried." We both got up to leave but then all of a sudden she straightened up and stared blankly into the woods. This only meant one thing. She was having another vision.

"Alice what do you see?" I asked impatiently as I wondered whether or not it had something to do with Bella. She opened her eyes and looked at me and whispered "I'm so sorry Edward."

"Alice, what did you see?" I asked again knowing that the answer wasn't going to be good.

"Bella has gone toy La Push." She stated, but she didn't need to carry on for I knew what this meant. Bella was in love with Jacob Black.

3 MONTHS LATER

"Edward, can you come down here for a moment?" Esme asked from the bottom of the stairs. " We're having a bit of a family meeting." I could tell by the tone in her voice that my being there was not optional, but still I tried.

"I'm sure whatever it is you want to discuss, it doesn't involve me." I knew that I would end up going downstairs eventually, but I figured I might as well try, even if their was truly no hope.

"Just come downstairs Edward." Carlisle's stern voice made me wonder what on earth could be happening.

"Fine." I snapped back down the staircase as I walked down to the dining room.

As I entered the room I felt everyone go quiet, as if they had all just been talking about me. I decided to delve into their thoughts to see exactly what was going on.

_I wonder what the secret is to the Rubik's Cube _

I wasn't going to get anywhere with Alice, that was for sure.

_Alice looks so beautiful in that purple dress, I wonder if…_

I had to stop there with Jasper; to hear that about Alice surely couldn't be legal.

Rosalie was thinking about herself as usual, Emmet was thinking about challenging Jasper to yet another arm wrestling match, Carlisle was wondering whether he had made the right choice by switching a patient from medicine to pills and Esme was thinking about a goblin on a unicycle. It was clear they were hiding something from me.

"Edward, would you mind sitting down?" Carlisle spoke quietly before I sat down and turned my head to face him. "Now, when you went hunting the other day, us six had a rather long discussion about what to do with the current situation." I knew what this was about already, of course I knew, but still I played it cool and looked at him with a confused look on my face.

"We all feel the same way, so we came up with a strategy that will be put into action as of today." I nodded for him to carry on, not liking where this was going. "It has been three months now since Bella left and ever since then you haven't done anything except mope around the house, you won't even go to school. This has to stop; it is bringing us all down." I felt sorrow take over my whole body as soon as I heard her name.

" Edward, I know it's hard but you have to let go, she has." Rosalie leaned over the table and looked into my eyes. " Our family needs you Edward, the real you, Not the lowlife who wont even step out of his own house." I knew it was true, but I could not find the words to apologize so I just nodded and looked at the ornate vase next to the doorway.

"But have no fear Edward because we have all come up with a plan." Alice exclaimed with excitement. " We are going to help you get your life back on track, no matter how long it takes you will go back to being you again." She beamed at me and I couldn't help but grin back at her. "There you go Edward, you've just completed task 1, smile." Emmet smiled at me whilst he patted me on the back.

"We know you want her back but unfortunately at the moment that just doesn't seem like an option. But you could maybe aim to be friends with her." Esme said as she came to give me a hug. Somehow I knew she was right, after all it would be better to be just a small part of Bella's life rather than not in it at all.


	2. Chapter 2: Never Fooled

Chapter 2: Never Fooled

Chapter 2: Never Fooled

BPOV

I finished packing my things and walked into my mother's bedroom. She smiled as I entered yet still seemed a little startled by my appearance; she closed her book and stood up.

"All done, so soon, I thought it would've taken longer than that." She walked to my room and I followed her.

"I didn't really bring that much; after all it was only for the weekend." I said as I help her lift my suitcase and take it downstairs. My father had insisted on me seeing my mother for a weekend since it had been so long and he knew she missed me, so I decided to go to Phoenix for the weekend, after all I did miss her.

"Right so you've definitely got you're passport and ticket?" She asked me beaming as she finished loading my suitcase in the car. I had chosen a flight rather early in the morning, not wanting to miss school.

"Yes!" But I still checked anyway, just to make her happy. "It's all here." I said patting my travel bag. She hugged me tightly and when we parted I could see the tears in her eyes.

"Mom, don't be silly, we'll still email like we always do, this isn't goodbye." I promised her as I made my way round to the passenger door.

"I know it's just that I miss you so much when you're gone." I gave her a final hug and then got into the passenger seat next to Phil.

"You ready?" Phil asked.

"Yeah." I smiled as he drove away but I could feel the tears welling up as I waved at my mother before we turned the corner and I could no longer see her.

I said goodbye to Phil (which was followed by an awkward hug) and sat at my gate waiting for them to announce that we were able to board the flight. I looked up the screen and saw that the flight was an hour late. I scowled and then turned my iPod on. I decided to listen to some Evanescence and chose a song named Call me when you're sober.

_Don't cry to me_

_If you loved me_

_You would be here with me_

_You want me_

_Come find me_

_Make up your mind_

I listened to the words again. Something felt familiar about these lyrics, like I'd written or experienced them myself. Then it hit me. This was the way I felt when Edward left me. He said he loved me, but he left me. He couldn't make up his mind whether or not he loved me enough to stay.

I hadn't seen Edward since the day I told him I couldn't be with him anymore. I felt sort of relieved the first day as it would have been quite awkward but after a week I started to get quite worried. What if he had gone back to Italy, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if that was the case. I hunted down Alice and wouldn't leave her alone until she swore to me that Edward was alright.

I knew that I would never stop loving him, he was a part of me, but I couldn't trust him not to leave me again and my heart couldn't take that kind of pain again, I would surely lose my mind. That's why I loved Jacob, everything was easy and safe, I wasn't in danger every second I was with him.

I kept my feelings for Edward at the back of my mind, it wasn't fair on Jacob. Sometimes I wished that they would just go away but then I feel bad as soon as I think that. I did miss Edward though, but I'd never admit it to anyone else. I missed talking to him, seeing him, even the feelings I got when I was near him.

But I loved Jacob and I was happy with that. Even though he was a werewolf I still felt a lot safer than I ever did with Edward. A woman came to the desk and said that they were now boarding the plane. I got up, gave my ticket and showed my passport. I took one last look at Phoenix then I boarded the plane.


	3. Chapter 3: Start Again

Chapter 3: Start Again

Chapter 3: Start Again

I made to school the following day, dreading every second as my silver Volvo neared the high school. What would I do when I saw her? Had it really only been three months since my eyes met hers? Questions flew through my mind as I realised I only had one mile to go.

My heart felt heavy in my chest and my brain was aching with worry. What if she didn't want to see me? Just imagining that brought me more pain than I thought was bearable. My body tensed as I drove through the school gate, my eyes searching everywhere for her face. I saw Mike Newton and I felt a surge of anger run through me. Why was I feeling like this? He was no longer an enemy of mine.

"Ooh there's a spot!" Alice pointed and I reversed into the parking space nearest the bike sheds, careful not to hit the kerb. "Well are you ready?" She whispered in my ear.

"No," I answered truthfully " Do you think it's too late to go home?" I wondered aloud.

"Get out of the car Edward, now." She said as she gently nudged me out of the driver's seat. "It'll be fine, I'm sure Bella will be pleased to see you." I checked her thoughts just in case.

_I hope Bella will be pleased to see him, I don't think that he could take further rejection. _

Well that really gave me a confidence boost. I got out of the car and locked it with the click of a button. I swallowed and then started to walk towards the office, I was sure that they would want me to explain why I hadn't been at school even though Carlisle rung in every day saying I was ill with some highly rare disease.

I opened the door to the small reception and saw that no one was at the desk. Strange, Miss Cope is always there when I need her. Suddenly the red haired receptionist walked through the back door, she looked like she'd seen a ghost when her eyes adjusted to the light and she saw me leaning against the desk.

"Hello Miss Cope, I thought it would be polite to come and check myself in." She froze for a second then she sat down at the desk and looked through her papers.

"Your father already sent in a note this morning explaining your absence." She showed me the letter and smiled. "So you'll just be able to go to your classes as if you were never away." She said still smiling.

"Thank you Miss Cope, oh and please could you also tell me what period I have biology today ?" I asked hoping that my tone didn't sound too desperate.

"Umm, let me check," she rummaged through one of the larger file cabinets until she found what she was looking for "One moment please…oh yes here we are, you've got biology sixth period, same as always." She beamed at me as I nodded and started to walk out the door. I had planned on leaving her mind for today but temptation got the better of me.

_Pull yourself together woman, he's far too young for you_

I walked to Spanish with a worried expression on my face as I thought about sixth period, this also meant that I probably still had biology with Bella.

As I queued for lunch I delved into the minds of people who I knew to be friends with Bella as I still had not seen her all morning. I scanned through Jessica's mind but saw only mike. Revolting.

After looking through Angela's, Ben's, Tyler's and even Mike's I still could not see Bella, this made me relieved but also quite anxious.

The bell rang and I started to worry. If she was in then I would definitely see her in this next lesson, but if she wasn't in I would just worry constantly. I bid farewell to my family, picked up my bag and hurried to biology.

Mr Banner froze the moment he saw me and I couldn't help but laugh. I walked up to my seat and saw that the seat next me was empty; my emotion didn't hide as I felt misery rush across my face. I took my seat and silently waited for either her to arrive or for someone to say why she wasn't at school.

Everyone else had arrived so I assumed that she was not in, Mr Banner was rambling on about something I probably already knew but I just sat there staring at the door. I was relieved that she had not come in today but part of me wished that she would arrive late and sit down next to me. Suddenly the door opened.

"Sorry I'm late Mr Banner, My flight was rescheduled." I stared at Bella, I was so shocked to see her yet somehow as soon as I did see her, happiness flew over me and a grin the size of China spread over my face. That was when she saw me.

She blushed as she started to walk over to our table and began to take her things out of her bag. I hadn't realised how much I had missed her blush until now, she sat down silently and hid behind her hair just like her first day at this school.

As soon as the bell rang, Bella raced to the door. I sat there for a second and then went after her. I caught up with her in no time and I grabbed her shoulder to turn around, she shivered at my touch but then turned to face me.

"Bella…I." It was then that she threw her foot down on mine, her scream filled the entire school.

"You idiot," She cried as she hopped about clutching her foot, I couldn't help laugh at that "This is not funny!" She released her foot and limped away but again, I was quicker. I was in front of her in less than a second.

"What do you want Edward?" She snapped, my heart danced when she said my name.

"Well firstly, why are you angry with me?" I asked as she gave me the dirtiest look known to man, and monsters.

"Why am I angry with you? Well let's see, you disappeared off the face of the earth and don't even tell be you're leaving or where you're going!" She practically yelled at me. "I was so worried about you, at first I thought you'd gone back to Italy, I practically stalked Alice until she assured me that you were fine, but I was still worried."

My dead heart pounded in my chest when she told me that she was worried about me, did this mean that she still loved me? No I would not let myself get my hopes up, she didn't love me, she loved Jacob.

"I'm sorry to make you worry Bella I truly am, but I just couldn't face you then." I said honestly. I could see that I had caused her pain and it killed me inside but I had to be honest with her, I just had to.

"Edward I have to go, I'm sorry but I'm meeting…some friends." I knew that she was lying to protect my feelings. She was meeting Jacob. She turned to leave when I shouted.

"Bella, wait." She turned to face me and had a look of impatience on her face.

"I would really like it if we could be friends." She smiled when I said that and it gave my stomach butterflies.

"Sure, friends" She said before she got in her truck and drove off to meet him. The anger returned.

**Author's Note**

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	4. Chapter 4: Precious Moments

Chapter 4: Precious Moments

Chapter 4: Precious Moments 

BPOV

Jacob was silent all the way to La Push. Normally I like silence as I have no chance to make a fool out of myself, but I hated every second of this, this was uncomfortable.

When we got to his house, he leaned over and kissed me. It was very passionate, too passionate. Something was wrong. He wasn't _Kissing _me kissing me; he wasn't letting me get away. It was like I was his prisoner. Eventually I broke free.

"What was that for" I asked with what I hope was a teasing look on my face, it didn't work he looked a mix between angry and upset.

"Bella, do I really need an explanation to kiss you?"

"When you kiss me like that you do," I got out of the car and walked to the front door only to turn around and find him standing mere inches away from me "Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"

"I'm Fine Bella." I could see that he was lying through his teeth but I shook my head and waited for him to unlock the door. We went inside and curled up on the couch.

"So… what were you talking to that bloodsucker…I mean Edward about?" I knew it. Of course I knew it from the second I got in the car.

"Jacob, listen to me, I love you. I chose you. Isn't that enough?" I looked at him honestly. "I need you to trust me. I am going to be friends with Edward Cullen, just like I was friends with you. Ok."

"I know you love me but I can't help feeling like I'm going to lose you to him. After all you two do have some pretty intense history." I curled into his arms and planted little kisses all over his neck.

"I love you with my heart and soul Jacob." He pulled my head up so I was looking into his eyes, kissed me on my forehead and then turned on the television. He seemed completely normal but I could tell that this little escapade was far from over.

A few days past and before I knew it, it was the weekend. Edward had not been in school since our last discussion but I didn't find it strange, he was probably hunting or something.

I was heading over to Jake's when I heard a wolf howl. I stopped my truck immediately and scanned the fields around me. That's when I saw it. I could see a grey shape moving on the far end of the field next to the road. I knew straight away that it was a werewolf, but I couldn't figure out who it was.

I started my truck and five minutes later arrived at Jacob's house. He was at my car door in seconds.

"Bella, you're late, what happened?" There was panic and worry in his voice.

"I just stopped for five minutes up the road, I saw one of you lot in the trees actually, is there trouble?" His face filled with dread.

"Bella its Paul. He got angry and went out of control; he had a fight with Jared and then turned. Jared only just escaped with his life."

"Why what happened?" I couldn't believe that Paul would do something like this. I always knew that he was a bit on the edge but I never thought he was capable of this sort of damage.

"Paul has imprinted on Kim, even though Jared already has, and he basically tried to rip Jared's throat out."

I gulped. I had seen Paul get out of hand once before and it was something that terrified me just thinking about it.

"Get in the car Bella I'm going to take you somewhere safe." I got in the car obediently and wondered where on earth he was taking me. We had been driving for about ten minutes when I realised that I remembered the turning that we had just taken.

"Jacob, where are we going?" I asked trying not to sound to impatient; he just ignored me and looked at the road.

"Jacob. WHERE ARE WE GOING?" I shouted, but of course I already knew, I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself yet. We turned off at the roads which lead to _his_ house and I could feel myself shaking. I wasn't ready yet.

"Bella you have to understand that if there was any other place you could go and be as safe as you will be here then I would jump at the chance. This is killing me Bella, it's like I'm giving you to him." He started shaking with anger so I quickly placed a hand on his cheek until he eventually stopped.

"How long are we talking about?" I asked quietly.

"Two days at the most, I'll get you as soon as I can, I promise." We were pulling up to the drive now and I was starting to feel sick. Two days. I couldn't handle that, it would be very awkward.

Jacob parked the car in front of the house and five seconds later Edward was there. He knew.

"I'll be picking her up Sunday night at the latest; I've told Charlie that she is having a slumber party with Alice." Edward just nodded and then started to lead us inside.

"I better not." Jacob said looking uncomfortable. "Bella, I'll see you on Sunday." He gave me a quick peck on the lips and then darted off back to his car. And then we were alone.

"Alice went to your house earlier and brought a bag with your things in it. You're sleeping in my room; I'll be on the couch of course." I couldn't work out what his tone meant. He walked me to his room. "The bathrooms just down the hall." He showed me a door about halfway across the landing, and then we came to his room.

"Alice will be here in about 20 seconds so… I'll leave you to it." And with that he was gone.

"Hi Bella," She hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe "Your stuff is all in this bag here and feel free to take any food from the fridge and use the bathroom whenever you feel like it." She beamed at me with her pixie like grin. The rest of the afternoon was all like that, her talking me listening and all the family coming in at different times to say hi. All except one. Edward kept his distance.

It was eleven o' clock by the time I managed to get to bed, I hadn't realised how much I'd missed everyone, especially Alice. I got into my pyjamas and got into the golden bed that had been placed there for my purpose. I couldn't sleep.

I just kept tossing and turning until I heard a faint knock and then the door opened slightly. I already knew who it was without looking.

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	5. Chapter 5: Ignorance Is Bliss

Chapter 5: Ignorance is bliss

EPOV

I had spent nearly and hour pacing outside my room, wondering whether or not I would be able to control myself if I entered her presence. I knocked on her door without quite knowing what I was doing and opened the door.

There she was, my angel, sleeping peacefully on the golden bed. Her breathing was steady and before I could tell myself to stop I was knelt by her side. Her scent stunned me like it always did and I desperately wanted to be closer but I knew that that was not what she wished of me.

I gazed at her in awe and thought to myself how had I ever coped without her. How had my existence carried on after she took my heart and soul away, never to be seen again. Just to be around her was exhilarating. She was my addiction and I was stupid enough to think that I could quit cold turkey.

So what was I to do now that she had re-entered my life? Was I to sit on the sidelines forever and watch her be happy, after all, her happiness should have been my happiness. But no, I knew I would never be happy without her by my side, loving me the way I loved her.

I hated that word, love. As if everything I felt for my Bella could be summed up in a four letter word. It was more than love; she was a part of me and would be forever.

I don't know how long I sat there simply lost in her presence but I knew it had been more than an hour. It was time for me to take my leave and part with my beloved. It hurt just to think it but still I stood up and turned for the door.

Before I knew what I was doing I had turned back around to face her and was pressing my lips against her warm, smooth forehead. I regretted it as soon as I had done it. Her body jolted and she gasped. I had woken her.

I headed once more to the door, praying that she had not opened her eyes. But I knew she already had.

"What was that?" Her voice floated to the doorway where I froze. I turned around and saw her face. Her expression was confused yet pained and her voice had an accusing tone. "Edward, I haven't seen you in over three months…and at school you told me that you would still like to be friends but today you have been acting like we have never met before, and then after all that you kiss me on the forehead, talk about mixed signals." Her voice was cracking and it killed me to see her in pain like this.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again I just…lost myself, I promise to behave better in future." It was the best that I could think of without causing her more pain. At that point she climbed out the bed and came to stand just mere inches away from me.

"That's the problem." We stood in silence for a moment as I tried to work out what she meant. Finally she spoke "Edward, I think it's best if we're not friends, I don't see how we can be if you are feeling this way. From now on, we will just be two people who go to the same school. I realise that I may have to do the same thing with Alice as it would not be fair to you. I need to move on with my life and so do you."

I didn't like what she was saying. Surely seeing her every day, being able to talk to her and still wishing she was mine was a lot better than seeing her every day, not being able to talk to her yet still wishing that she was mine. That's when I argued.

"I can't do that Bella," I said quietly but loud enough for her to hear "seeing you yet not being able to talk to you would kill me. I would always be watching, not stalking, not following, but watching." I could see tears fighting with the rims of her eyes but I was not willing to let her go so easily. "I know you don't think of me that way but are you honestly telling me that the thought of being away from me doesn't tear your heart out."

"Don't. Just don't." she paused as if anticipating what she was going to say next "Of course a part of me will always be with you, Edward I loved you with everything I had and it's not like that feeling will ever truly go away. But that doesn't mean that I can't put it in a place where I don't have to face it every day." Her eyes had given up now and the tears were falling silently down her face.

My heart leapt when she spoke those words. She still loved me, she said it herself, but I still couldn't understand what she was trying to get through.

"I guess what I'm saying is that I love you Edward, I always will but…I don't want to anymore." Her voice was breaking as she used the back of her hand to push the tears away.

At that I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me and I whispered "Liar." Then I kissed her.

**I am so sorry that I haven't updated in ages**

**My laptop broke **

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	6. Chapter 6: Out Of Mind

Chapter 6: Out of mind

I was lost in is arms. Our lips crushing against each other hungrily, begging for each other. God how I had missed this, just to feel his cold, smooth hands pulling me to him like I was his. That was when reality hit me and I pulled away sharply.

His face was desperate like he was longing for more. I glared at him. I was mortified with myself but it takes two to tango.

"Get out." I whispered ever so quietly but I knew he had heard me.

"Bella, I…"

"GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!" I screamed at him as I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. I heard the door to his room close, he had gone.

I sat on the floor with my head on my hands thinking what an awful person I was. But for some reason there was a little voice in the back of my mind which made me think about how perfect, passionate and fiery the kiss was. But then his name flashed through my mind…Jacob.

I had to see him. I went back into my bedroom and began to pack up what little things I had brought to the Cullen's house. I needed to get out. The guilt was eating me alive as I made my way to the door. But then I heard people talking in the hallway. There was no way I would get past them. This would have to be done the hard way.

I opened the window and looked down to see a wooden mesh that was easily climbable, my heart danced with joy. I lowered myself out of the window and began placing my feet steadily on the mesh. There were roses wrapped around the mesh and I could feel the thorns tearing my skin but nevertheless I continued to climb down the back of the Cullen's house.

I was about three meters from the ground when I noticed the glass patio door below me, the door that led into the living room and therefore would have most of the Cullens sat in the other side. I muttered several swearwords.

I considered just letting go and hopefully I would be knocked unconscious by the fall, at least I wouldn't have to face the shame and utter humiliation that would follow if anyone who lived in the house saw me shimmying down the mesh. There was a drainpipe on the other side of the door which (if I was able to climb down it) would allow me to get to the garden gate without being seen. I decided that I would take my chances and so I started edging myself along the wall.

"Bella…what the hell are you doing?" I sighed in defeat and then turned around to face Emmet who (to my dismay) looked as if he was about to die with laughter.

"I was just, you know… practising my climbing skills, they seem to be in good shape." I knew it was stupid the moment I felt the words leave my lips but unfortunately for me, I was all out of smart comebacks. Emmet nodded whilst holding back a grin and walked towards me with his arms outstretched.

"Need a hand?"

"If you would be so kind?" I lowered my self into his reach and he lifted me from the wall like I was as light as a feather and I had to remind my self that to him, I was. He put me down on the grass and looked at me whilst shaking is head and tutting.

"What are we going to do with you Bella?" he asked me. "I mean the minute we turn our backs you're climbing down the wall like an orang-utan." The laughter he had been suppressing freed itself and he began to double over in fits of laughter. I could feel my cheeks turning a shade of scarlet as I turned around and stormed into the house ready to face the music.

Rosalie was sat on one of the cream couches smirking at me like I had something on my face. I just marched past her and ran up the stairs. I felt so humiliated. I couldn't get to Edward's room faster. I didn't bother knocking as I practically threw the door open. He was lead on his leather couch listening to what I recognised as The Killers.

"Why did you have to kiss me?" I screamed at him as he saw me enter the room. "You know I'm taken and you know it's over between us! What were you thinking?" The only sound that was left was my harsh breathing as he stood up and started walking closer to me. "Don't…" I began.

"Bella you have made it quite clear that you and I are a thing of the past but that does not mean that I will not love you until I cease to exist. You were my world and although you have moved on I have already accepted the fact that my heart will always be yours. Whether you choose to crush it or cherish it I know it will always belong to you. I lived for eighty years thinking that I would never find… I was going to say someone but I believe that you are and always will be the only one for me. When I first knew I loved you, I knew that that would be the way it would be forever. I cannot move on for you are a part of me and know I have tasted what it is like to be loved by you, I will never be able to let go of you." He was inching closer towards me as he spoke and for some reason I couldn't find the desire to want him to stop. "I love you Bella with everything I have and there isn't a day that goes by that I do not regret ever leaving you. It was the worst mistake of my life and I think you know deep down that had I not left you we would still be together."

I knew what he was saying was true but I just couldn't bring myself to admit it out loud to him. Of course I loved him, I never stopped. I had just locked that love in a dark place in the back of my mind and thrown away the key. But now, with his words, it was like he had found that love and spread it everywhere in my mind. It was only now that I realised just how much I had missed him. But again, his name…Jacob.

"I can't do this anymore." I whispered whilst trying desperately not to look him directly in the eye. "You're killing me Edward."

"I hate hurting you. Trust me if there was a way I could punish myself for all the pain I put you through… maybe you're right. Maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore. I'm sure Carlisle would allow the family to relocate."

"No!" I could not bear the thought of them having to leave because of me and my selfish ways. "I won't let you and your family ruin everything you have built here because of me."

There was another reason I didn't want him to go but two sides of my mind were having a civil war about whether or not to tell him. The honest side won.

"And also… I don't want you to go." I looked at him then and his eyes bored into mine.

**Authors Note**

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	7. Chapter 7: Blood Red

Chapter 7: Blood Red

EPOV

I looked at those beautiful brown eyes of hers as what she had just said whirled round in my mind.

"I don't understand." I needed her to explain in detail exactly what she meant. She sighed and then walked over to sit on the golden bed. I followed her and sat patiently by her side. She turned to look at me.

"I don't think I'm emotionally stable enough to lose you ever again." She twisted her body to look at me. "When you went away last September I seriously thought that I wasn't going to last a day never mind half a year. And when you disappeared for three months after I… well after our little discussion I was sick with worry, i just put on a brave face about it and pretended I hadn't even noticed you'd gone. But I was just lying to myself," She was holding back the tears now "the truth is that I have thought about you every day wondering and worrying."

I wanted to be tortured for the pain I had obviously put her through. She leaned back and put her head on the pillow and once again I did the same next to her. We sat in silence for about a minute but it felt like years. I decided to step in.

"What exactly are you saying to me Bella?" Even just to say her voice was exhilarating and I quickly inhaled to take in her beautiful freesia scent. It took her a while to answer me, but when she did I could tell that she had carefully thought through her answer.

" I need you Edward, you are the air that I breathe and I think that every second that I am away from you I start hyperventilating. Sure I have grabbed a few oxygen tanks on my way down but… It's like what you said about your eating habits. You said by feeding on animals you were able to… well not be hungry anymore but you were never satisfied. It's like that with you… I crave you." She turned to face me fully then. "And you're right…if you had never left we would probably still be together now."

I truly hated myself at that moment in time. Why on earth had I ever thought I should go? Now everything was ruined and the love of my existence had slipped out of my reach and I didn't know if I would ever get her back.

"So basically you're telling me that you love me…but we can't be together?" I asked her with a confused look on my face. "What's the point in that?" She stared at me for a while and then leaned over and was about to kiss me on the cheek. "What are you doing?" I asked her, completely surprised by her action. She smiled.

"I was planning on giving you a kiss on the cheek but obviously that plan has flown out the window."

"You're confusing me Bella." I stated.

"I know and I am truly sorry, but trust me on this I know what I am doing… I have to go to the bathroom give me a second." And with that she pecked me on the cheek and walked out of the room. I was completely and utterly confused. Did she want us to be together again? Did she want me on the side? Did she want me to leave her alone? I did not know. Suddenly Alice came flying into the room.

"Where is she…Bella?" Alice practically yelled as her eyes flashed across the room as if expecting Bella to be hidden.

"She has just gone to the bathroom… slow down, what's happened?" I was smiling but the look on Alice's face made me worry. Alice darted to the bathroom at the end of the hall and I quickly followed her.

"What's going on Alice?" I demanded to know. Alice was banging on the bathroom door and screaming Bella's name. Bella wasn't answering.

"WHERE IS SHE?" I yelled at Alice who then kicked the bathroom door down. The Bathroom was empty and the window was open. Alice ran to the window and looked down.

"The mesh… she climbed down the mesh. I was just sat downstairs and I saw you and her together again but then… her future just disappeared." She whispered as if she was scared of my reaction.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you Alice." I heard her thoughts for her answer

_It's OK Edward I know you're just worried about he. How long ago did she leave?_

"About five minutes ago, I'll go and look for her she can't have gone far. I'll be back in an hour." I walked to the bathroom window, jumped down and inhaled. Her scent was still there but it was quite weak, she must have been running.

I followed her scent the best I could but I lost all trace of her at the main road, obviously she had called someone to come and pick her up. But the scent of a _dog_ was overpowering. No clues there as to who exactly picked her up. I took out my phone from my jacket pocket and called Alice.

"Hello Edward." She sounded panicky.

"Hi, any news on the whereabouts of Bella?"

"No she's still with _them_." I knew how much it annoyed her when she did not have her insight to the future. I explained to her about the car and told her that I was going to call Jacob and see what was going on.

"Ok, call me as soon as you find her." And with that the phone went dead. Bella had been gone for about an hour now and I was starting to get rather worried. Had she meant any of those things she had just said to me? Or was it just a plot of hers so that she could sneak away? No! I hated myself for even thinking that Bella would ever do anything like that. She had meant every word she had said to me; I could see it in her eyes. I got my phone out and dialled Jacob's number. Someone answered the phone but failed to speak.

"Hello…Jacob is that you? It's Edward…" I was about to hang up when I heard some clattering coming from the other end of the line.

"Edward…its Billy Black here," I was about to ask if I could speak to Jacob when Billy continued "We need your father to come down here right away if that's possible… There's been an accident." What on earth was he on about…who was hurt? That was when ultimate fear took over me.

"Billy…where's Bella?" I felt sick as I waited for a response.

"…" Was all that came from the receiver, but that was enough to tell me exactly who had been hurt.

"We'll be there in five minutes." I slammed the phone shut and ran back to my house as fast as I could. Alice was waiting outside, a look of anticipation on her face.

"Edward, what's happened?" She asked urgently. I just ran past her and straight to Carlisle, the rest of the family were on my heels.

"Carlisle, its Bella. There's been an accident… I don't know what has happened but Billy Black was requesting you get there urgently." The words drilled out of my mouth so fast that I could barely understand them myself but Carlisle nodded as he picked up his medical bag and we raced to his car.

_She'll be ok Edward, I promise_

"But what if she's not, you can't promise things like that." We were racing down the long road to our house now.

_Whatever it is I will make sure that she will heal in perfect condition_

The rest of the journey was silent and in less than five minutes we were getting out of the car and running up the steps of Billy Black's house. The door was open and the first thing I noticed was the smell of the blood…_her_ blood.

I turned the corner into the living room and saw her, my angel lead on the faded couch with blood streaming through what appeared to be a tea towel. I crouched by her side and watched Carlisle get to work. The blood seemed to be coming from her stomach and when Carlisle took the tea towel away I could see three huge gashes in the shape of claws. My fists clenched and I was suddenly so angry that I threw the wooden chair next to me across the room.

"WHAT HAPPENED???" I yelled at Billy Black who was stood leaning against the wall looking a shade of pale green. He did not answer but his thoughts were enough.

Bella had broken up with Jacob. Jacob had gone out of control. Jacob had done this to my beautiful Bella.


	8. Chapter 8: Dead End

Chapter 8: Dead End 

BPOV

Pain.

That was all I felt. It all happened so fast. One minute we were stood there in the garage and the next… well I don't really know. I just remember feeling pain and everything going black. It was still black but I could hear things, sounds that drifted in and out. I felt numb. And then I remembered…

_I ran as fast as I could from the house knowing all too well that in less than a minute Alice would've realized I was missing. I knew what I was doing…at least I thought I did. I pulled out my mobile and dialed Jacob's number. _

"_Hey Bella, are you sick of those bloodsuckers already?" as soon as he said that word he confirmed that I had made the right decision. "Bella? What's wrong?" _

"_Jacob… I need you to come and get me…I'm at the bottom of the Cullen's drive." I knew what I had to say to him was going to be difficult but I just had to do it no matter how hard it would be._

"_What? You've left the Cullen's house… I'll be there in five minutes. Bella it's not safe yet." The line went dead at that. I began to walk up the road as I knew that it would be the route that Jacob would take and I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible even though it was going to tear me apart._

_I knew that it would cause Jacob pain and I hated to do that but for once in my life, I felt like I was taking control and for now I needed to stop and think about what I wanted and what would make me happy. I know it sounded selfish but I felt like throughout our relationship I was always trying to make Jacob happy and I never considered my own feelings. I could see his car now. His headlights were blinding me through the darkness but I could still tell it was him. He slowed down and I got in. He looked angry._

"_Bella, what the hell do you think you are doing? Paul is still on the loose, you could have been killed! I'm taking you back to the Cullen's right now." He was furious I could tell, but I couldn't just let him take me back there, not when I had already come this far. _

"_Jacob pleas, you cant take me there, please take me to your place," I was practically begging now "I really need to talk to you." He looked like he was going to argue but he looked at my face and then turned around._

"_Seriously Bells, you shouldn't be out here at night, not under the circumstances. What do you need to talk about anyway?" This was going to be harder than I thought, he was completely oblivious. I would have to wait until we were at the ranch._

"_It can wait." I stated knowing full well that it was going to kill me when the time came. He leaned over and put his arm around me but then he quickly pulled away._

"_No offence Bells, but you stink." I had to smile at that. The rest of the journey was silent and by the looks on his face, I could tell that he was trying to figure out what I needed to talk to him about. Oh God this was going to be like shooting a puppy. Eventually we pulled into the ranch garage and got out of the car and within seconds of shutting the car door behind me I felt his arms wrap around me and turn me around. And then he was kissing me._

"_Jacob stop." I managed to say against his lips, but he ignored me as I desperately tried to squirm out of his arms. "STOP!" I yelled it at him and he stopped but from seeing the look on his face I regretted my actions instantly._

"_You're breaking up with me aren't you," he was shaking all over and he looked like he was about to explode with fury "I knew it! What has that leech said to you?" I was beginning to get a little scared but I knew that the worst thing that I could do now was lie to him. _

"_Jacob this is a decision that I have made entirely on my own and it's something that I have to do for myself. I feel like I do everything for everyone else but never for me and it's time that I take my own feelings into consideration for once." He was still shaking and I placed my hand on his arm to try and calm him down. That was a big mistake. He fazed, I felt pain and then I fell into total darkness. _

I woke up but I did not open my eyes. Instead I tried to figure out where I was. I could hear all sorts of bleeping noises and it felt like I was lying on a bed. I could feel something in my arm like a needle of some sort. I decided to open my eyes then and I realized that I was lying on a hospital bed with what appeared to be a drip in my arm.

I tried to sit up but I felt a surge of pain run through my stomach. That was when I realized that I was not alone.

"No, no, no Bella, don't try to sit up. The doctors said that you should try and stay perfectly still the bandage can be changed." Edward said in all is perfect glory. He lowered me down again slowly and then tucked a piece of stray hair behind my ear. "Hey sleeping beauty." He smiled at me and for a moment I was too dazzled to speak.

"How long…where…when?" I was silenced as he put on of is godlike fingers to my lips.

"Shhh, everything's ok. Carlisle said that you should be able to go home tomorrow, you've been out cold for eight hours… well that was after the surgery." I started to panic.

"Surgery!" I yelled only to find the pain in my stomach return.

"It's nothing really Bella, it's just you were bleeding pretty badly and well you needed a few stitches but it's alright now, Carlisle says you will heal perfectly." His face turned into a look of guilt then. "Bella I swear had I have known what that _dog_ was going to do… I would have stopped the truck whilst you were in it and taken you away." I could not believe that he was trying to apologize for something that wasn't his fault.

"Edward…it was nothing to do with you, you couldn't have stopped even if Alice could see…it happened so quickly" I could see the anger in his eyes and that's when it hit me. "Edward…where's Jacob?" If I thought that Edward looked angry before it was nothing compared to the pure fury that filled his angelic face now.

"He ran away…as soon as he…he ran away." His fists were clenching now so I quickly reached over and placed my hands over his. "It took all of my self control for me not to track him down and _kill _him Bella…but I knew that if I did that you would be hurt even after what that _scum _did to you."

"What does Charlie know?" I was desperate to change the subject now.

"Well I'm sorry but it's the best I could come up with on such short notice…you fell onto a pitch fork." And after that I couldn't help but crack up a smile.

**Hey x**

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	9. Chapter 9: Disturbing Truths

Chapter 9: Disturbing Truths

EPOV

I was sat on the black leather couch in the corner of my room whilst listening to some calming symphonies. But my mind was far from calm. In fact my mind was buzzing constantly with questions that I _needed_ to be answered. And the one person who could give me some for of insight on those answers was being discharged from Fork's Hospital today and I was nervous.

I had been to visit Bella every day and even after the nurses and to practically remove me; I found my way back to her bedside that same night. She drifted in and out of consciousness and the last real conversation I had with her was when she first woke up four days ago. She mumbled my name a few times in her sleep which as per usual made my stone heart leap with enthusiasm but, to my dismay, _his_ name stumbled upon her lips more than mine, _six _times more. And every time I heard that _dog's_ name, my fists clenched on their own accord and was left simply staring at her and wondering what the hell was going on in that beautiful mind of hers.

Yesterday was the only day that I did not see her delicate face and that was only because Carlisle insisted that it was not healthy for me to go so long without hunting. But all the time my thoughts were of her, that beautiful, angelic girl that had stolen my heart.

Alice had been to see her too and so had the rest of the family, well…all with the exception of Jasper but I could understand that it was not right for him to enter a building where the stench of blood and bleach surrounded you. There was still no sign of _him_. Carlisle had spoken to Sam personally on the phone and had simply explained the situation and that he thought it wise if Jacob stayed out of town for a while just to give those on our side a chance to calm down. By calm down I mean not want to rip his head off. I would _never_ calm down. As soon as I saw Bella lying there on Billy Black's fading couch I knew that if Jacob ever so much as looked at Bella again I would tear him limb from limb. He hurt my reason for life and for that he would pay. I would make sure of it.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was now two o'clock and there had still been no word from Bella even though she had been released from the hospital over three hours ago now. My hand kept on twitching towards the phone as if begging me to ring her.

_Let her come to you _

I was suddenly disturbed by Alice's thoughts as she walked down the stairs, looking directly at me.

_She's had a tough week, even you can understand that. Let her get her head straight, I'm sure she is bursting with as many questions as you_

I nodded, taking in what she was thinking.

_Trust __me; she will have called by five o'clock. I've seen it_

And with that she smiled a grin that spread right across her face and then darted off to the garden to join her beloved. If only I could do the same.

I had had nothing but kind and encouraging thoughts from the whole family, even Rosalie! But I was anxious for a result. I wouldn't let anyone else near the home phone just in case the phone was engaged when my love rang.

Five o' clock came and went and to pass the time I stared daggers at my so called "psychic" sister.

_I'm Sorry…I guess she changed her mind_

She gave an apologetic face to me and then raced upstairs. Damn those subjective visions! Getting my hopes worked up for nothing. But on the bright side this meant that she was planning on talking to me she just got tied up that's all. But tied up with whom? Who was she spending all this time with who was obviously more important then me?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I _had_ to see her. The suspense was killing me.

I knew that if I told any of my family that they would try to convince me otherwise and I really couldn't deal with all that, it was just going to waste time. I pulled on my brown jacket and jumped out of my open window and into the night. I ran.

My head was spinning whilst I sped through the trees that separated her house from my view. I realised I had no idea what I was going to say to her, not one clue. How do I start the conversation of what the hell was going on behind them beautiful eyes of hers?

I could see her window now and I halted. At least it was still open. I took a deep, unnecessary breath in and quietly yet swiftly began to climb up to her room. I peered into her room and saw that she wasn't there. I dropped down from her window and ran round to the front of her house. Her car was there and so was Charlie's. I could smell her near. She must be late to bed. I climbed back up her wall and I hoisted myself up into her room. I would wait. After all, she's worth waiting for.

An hour had past and I was starting to question my actions when suddenly I heard her "Dad, I'm going up to bed…try not to stay up to late." Her voice floated towards me as I heard her trudge up the stairs, not long now only a few minutes. I heard her go into the bathroom and turn on the sink tap. I heard the water running as he washed her beautiful face. I heard her head across the landing and towards the door. The door that I was stood next to. She opened the door and turned on the light and I held completely still against the wooden door. She went to the window and inhaled. What was I doing? Why wasn't I talking to her? Instead, for reasons unknown to me, I darted over to her open closet and crushed myself against the corner furthest from the door. She turned off the light and climbed into bed. I wanted so desperately to talk to her, or even just to see her but my feet didn't seem to be working.

I waited in her closet until her breathing became steady and I was sure that she was asleep then I crept out of the closet and began to tip toe across the room towards the now closed window. Damn. How was I going to open the window without waking her up, I knew she was a light sleeper I looked back once again at her angelic sleeping face. God she was beautiful. I would have to do this quickly. I pushed the window up and it made a screech.

"What the hell are you doing?" I sighed and then turned around to see my angel, who had an extremely angry expression on her face. This wasn't going to be easy.

"I came to see you…and now I'm leaving." She looked furious.

"What in God's name gives you the right to creep into my bedroom in the middle of the night and then just leave without talking to me?" I hesitated at that, what was I going to say?

"Well, last time we spoke, we didn't exactly make it clear on where we stand with each other…and I came to talk to you about it but then…I don't know." That seemed reasonable enough. "Also I wanted to know what happens now." She looked puzzled at my last statement so I tried to be clearer.

"Now that you and Jacob are over, are we…"

"Do you really think that I would be able to do that to Jacob? That I would be able to not consider his feelings as I finished him and then not five seconds later came crawling back to you. I could never do that to him, can you imagine what pain that would cause him, I would rather die than ever put him through that." Now I was confused.

"Bella…he almost killed you, aren't you angry?"

"Of course I'm not angry, he just lost control that's all and let's face it, I'd be in a lot worse shape if you ever lost control." I hated it when she referred to the monster in me. "It wasn't his fault, I shouldn't have told him like that." There was no way I was letting her blame herself for this one.

"A. I would _never_ hurt you, B. You are most definitely _not_ to blame and C. Are you honestly trying to tell me that it is just forgive and forget with Jacob?" I looked into her beautiful brown orbs and suddenly I was pained to see that tears were beginning to fall from them. Angels should not cry. I took her into my arms and held her close to me.

"I love you." She whispered into my chest and in that moment I was in heaven.

"I love you more." A statement that I was sure was true. She could never love me an ounce of what I loved her. "What are we going to do Bella?" I sighed into her hair. She reached up on her tip toes and placed her lips lightly upon mine. I was in ecstasy.

"Ask me again in the morning." She released herself from my grip and laid her body gently on her bed. "For now…just hold me and sing me to sleep." An offer I could not refuse.

I walked over to her and lay next to her. She moulded herself into my arms so she was facing me and once again she gently pressed her lips to mine and then she turned around and snuggled into me. This was where she belonged, in my arms, forever.

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	10. Chapter 10: Beloved Terror

Chapter 10: Beloved Terror

BPOV

I didn't open my eyes when I woke up. Truth be told for a moment I forgot everything. I had no recollection of the events that had occurred the night before, where I was or whose arm was casually thrown over me and whose icy body lay next to me. I forgot everything for a moment, but then I remembered.

"I know you're awake." His angelic voice floated into my ears. I still didn't move but I could feel a smirk battling with the corners of my lips. I felt his body shift position next to me and then I suddenly felt the cold sensation that was his lips pressing on my neck. I felt blissfully happy as he gave my butterfly kisses up and down my neck. I hadn't realised how much I had missed him until now. I sighed with pleasure and then finally opened my eyes to see Edward leaning over me, his face mere centimetres from my own. He moved closer and I felt his lips touch my own. "Good morning my angel." How he could even consider me to be an angel next to him was a complete mystery to me. I smiled and then caught my reflection in the photo frame that was on my bedside table. Trust me, it was _anything_ but an angel.

"Oh!" I jumped out of bed and began to sprint towards my bathroom. I felt a hand grab my arm and spin me around. He was there, his eyes boring into mine as he stopped me so I was touching every part of his body. He leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead.

"You have never looked more beautiful." I melted into his embrace then and I smothered every spare inch of his face with kisses. His mouth caught mine and the passion in that kiss was indescribable. He lifted me up so that my legs were wrapped around his waist and carried me to my bed, his lips never once leaving my own. I was surprised at how far he was letting us go. This was far beyond his old boundaries. He lowered me onto the mattress and then began to kiss my neck and my face. "I love you, God I love you so much." He whispered into my ear before kissing it. And in that moment I had never felt more loved. I began to reach for the buttons on his shirt but then he stopped what he was doing and looked at me. For a second I thought he was going to say that we had to stop but then I saw his eyes. He was looking at me with complete adoration and then he went back to kissing my neck and so I carried on undoing the buttons. He shrugged out of the shirt and I started to pull my tee shirt over my head. His hands replaced mine and he threw my top on the floor. We had never even been close to getting this far. He was just about to lean in again when suddenly his body went completely still.

"Charlie." He whispered and then disappeared out of my open window. Not ten seconds later, I heard my dad's car pull into the driveway and I quickly put my shirt back on and stuffed Edward's under my pillow. I heard the front door open and close followed by the sound of Charlie's footsteps trudging up the stairs. There was a light tap on my door and then my father entered.

"Bells?" He walked over to my bed and gently shook my arm. "Bells? Come on sweetheart, time to get up." I opened my eyes and pretended to be groggy.

"What…what time is it?" It then occurred to me that the sun was shining through my window.

"It's two o'clock…you've had a bit of a lie in." A bit! I felt so lazy. "I'm going over to Billy's to watch the game and then there's gonna be a barbeque so I'll be gone until about eleven ish, I've just come to get some dip and then I'll be gone."

"Okay Dad…have fun," I paused for a second as I took in a breath "Will you do me a favour…tell Billy to tell Jacob that I said it's okay and that I miss him." Charlie looked at me with pity in his eyes.

"Will do Bella." And with that he walked out of my room and shut the door. I heard him go into the kitchen and then out of the house. As soon as I heard his car pull away, Edward was next to me again.

"You could've just hid in my closet, I mean it's sunny outside and someone could've seen you." I smiled at him but he did not return the gesture, instead he looked like he was about to explode with rage.

"So you really miss _him_. After everything he has done to you." I could see that we would not be going back to kissing. " He almost killed you Bella!" He turned away from me and stood next to the window. I walked up behind him and slid my arms around his torso. He didn't move.

"He was my best friend, you can't expect me to just stop caring about him. Would you want me to stop caring about you?"

"This isn't about _me_…this is about your safety. A man who will do it once will do it again. You have no idea what it was like to see you laying there on that hospital bed knowing that_ he _did that to you. The pain was unbearable. All I've ever wanted was for you to be safe and…I just love you too much to ever see you hurt like that again." The tears welled up in my eyes. I never wanted to be the cause of Edward's pain, never! I kissed his neck a couple of times and then walked around to face him. I reached up and kissed him fully on the lips.

"I love you, you have no idea. I love everything about you, everything you do and say reminds me that I could never leave you again and I promise that you will never have to experience any pain because of me. I'm so sorry." He picked me up and held me close.

"Shhh, please don't cry. I can't bear it. You have nothing to be sorry for. Shhh." He cradled me on my bed for what seemed like minutes but I looked out of the window and saw that the sun had begun to set. The clock on my bedside table told me that it was seven o'clock. "Come on, let's go to my place." He waited in my room as I showered and changed and then we got into my red truck, him in the drivers seat and me snuggled under his arm. The drive was silent but not uncomfortable. I think both of us were just basking in each others presence, well I know I was anyway. We pulled up to the Cullen's driveway and it all looked so inviting. It was like I belonged here. By now the sun had completely disappeared and a full moon had taken its place. The garage door was open and a bright light filled it. Edward pulled my truck into the huge garage and he was opening my door before I had even had a chance take my seatbelt off.

"What am I going to do with you?" He smiled at me as he took my hand and helped me out of the car. My hand meted into his icy touch.

"I can think of many things that you could with me." I said in a voice that I hoped was sexy. He leant me against the car door and put a hand on either side of my head. He leaned closer so that our noses were almost touching and he inhaled deeply.

"You really shouldn't tease me like that." He smirked as he spoke.

"Why…I find it quite fascinating to openly taunt you." I ducked under his arms and began to walk out of the garage.

"Oh no you don't." the floor was taken away from under my feet and Edward's arms wrapped around me as he ran into the forest with me in his embrace. I remembered to close my eyes this time and I buried my face deep into his chest to resist the urge to peek. I felt the air steady itself and I realised that he had stopped running. I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings.

"Our meadow." The place that I had been avoiding for almost four months. I turned around to see my beloved staring at me with such admiration that it almost made me cry again. I stepped towards him to close ever inch o space that separated us and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry, can you ever forgive me?" The memories of our last visit here flooded back. "I should never have left you."

"I deserved it after all… I left you first," he looked so sad, it was obvious that he hadn't been here since that incident either. I'm sure that if vampires could cry, he would be crying rivers "I love you." He kissed me and then whispered those three words again and then repeated the process several times. I pulled him down to the ground and we lay there, hands entwined, staring at the stars. I repositioned myself so his arm was around me and then whispered into his ear "I love you too."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and sat up straight, startled. I was morning now and we were still in the meadow. Edward was still laying next to me. I took my phone out of my pocket and saw that there were sixteen missed calls from Charlie.

"Shit!" Edward chuckled behind me. "Don't you dare laugh; I didn't call my dad last night. He's probably got the police involved!" The chuckling continued and I was pulled back into his arms. I rolled on top of him and stared into his eyes. I noticed that they were quite dark today. He was still smiling. He rolled us both over a couple of times, still careful not to lay any of his weight onto me and I couldn't help but laugh along with him. We eventually came to a halt at the end of the meadow with me lying on top of him.

"You should hunt." I told him as I looked into his now black eyes.

"I'm not leaving you."

"Edward this is to hunt, it's important. I'll still be here when you get back, I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not leaving you." He repeated. Why was he being so stupid?

"What so you're just never going to hunt ever again?" He kissed me and wrapped his arms around me. "Well that was nice, but it didn't really answer my question did it? Edward tell me the truth…what are you so worried about?" He sighed and then slowly lifted me off him and sat up.

"The truth is…I don't know if I would be able to cope with not being around you. I'd be constantly worried that something had happened to you. I just can't stand to be away from you." I should've been flattered but I wasn't.

"Well that's stupid. You're going hunting tomorrow and that's that!" I was putting my foot down.

"No I'm not." He sighed whilst he spoke.

"Well I guess I'll just have to go and tell Carlisle about how you intend to starve yourself." I started t walk into the forest. "Now are you going to take me back to your house or am I going to have to walk through the woods on my own where God knows what could be lurking in the shadows?" Once again he swept me off of my feet and into his arms. I knew I had won this battle at least for now. He stopped running just as we reached the steps leading up to the porch. I headed up the stairs and Edward opened the large glass door for me. I caught his eye on the way up the stairs and I could see in his face that he knew that I had already won. But he was too stubborn to stay it out loud. We entered the kitchen but no one was there, not unusual for Vampires. I could see Esme in the living room watching television with Alice and Rosalie. We entered the room and saw that Emmet and Jasper were on the computer.

"Has anyone seen Carlisle?" Edward asked, his voice echoing in my ears. Esme instantly stood up with a beautiful smile on her face.

"He's in his office at the moment; may I ask what's going on?" Edward smiled politely, it was obvious that he wasn't going to tell her.

"Edward _won't _go hunting," I could almost feel Edward glaring at the back of my head. Esme stared at Edward bewildered "That's right. He says he _won't leave me_. Now am I the only one who thinks that that is absolutely stupid?"

"Well I suppose there is something…romantic about it but other than that it is absolutely absurd!" I gave Edward a quick "I told you so" glance and then headed upstairs towards Carlisle's office. I was just about to knock on the door when, once again I was lifted off of my feet and was guided into the room at the end of the hall, Edward's room to be precise. He shut the door and then turned around to face me.

"You know," He walked closer to me "you're extremely sexy when you're debating." His voice was low and so inviting. But he didn't fool me.

"If you think that this is going to sto-" I was interrupted by his lips crashing into my own and when he began to undo my shirt buttons all earlier thoughts left my brain. There was such passion and heat in his kisses. I lifted his shirt over his head and let my hands wander over his torso. His marble skin felt like heave under my fingertips and I could feel his hands do the same to my back. He lowered me onto the golden bed and began to make a line of kisses from my belly button to my neck. He caught my lips with his again but this time it was different. I felt his tongue slide into my mouth and it felt like ecstasy.

"Mmmmmm," He groaned into my mouth as he drew back "That felt nice." He rolled me over so that I was led on top of him.

"Then don't stop." I whispered, not knowing what to expect in reply. His eyes bored into mine and I could feel complete trust and understanding in those pupils.

"Are you sure?" He gazed at me and I felt truly loved. I slowly nodded my head and he began to kiss everything else away.


End file.
